George the Giraffe has said he is certain to win his upcoming boxing match to claim the prize of undisputed long-neck champion of the world.
In a Facebook Live video released yesterday, the current long-neck champion spun another of his infamous rhymes to put down his opponent, “When I attack I don’t look back, when I use my neck you’ll be a wreck, I’ll stamp my feet to mark your defeat.”
When we asked George what he thought made him such a success, he told us it was simple, he’s just ‘head and shoulders above the competition.’
His opponent, Toby ‘The Tower’ Giraffe, made out that he was unphased when we spoke to him earlier, telling us, “That talk is all just hot-air. Hard work and proper preparation is key. Neck-strengthening Pilates – or should I say Lilates in solidarity with the Lions – interval sprints to strengthen legs, and head bops to maximise blood flow to the brain. Anyone can blurt out a few rhymes, real champions let their bodies do the talking.”
With the match only days away, tensions are only likely to escalate at the neck-measuring later today.
A lightning strike has taken down the tree normally used for the measuring, but the Baboons have found another tree on the other side of the plain and the TV cameras are already setting up.
As the reigning champion in the long-neck class, George would usually be the bookies’ favourite, but Toby’s towering reputation for hard work and tough training discipline have seen the odds swing in his favour.
The contest still remains too close to call and the tension looks set to draw a worldwide audience of millions.
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